Virtual Visitation in Washington Custody Cases

As technology becomes a larger part of everyday life, Washington courts increasingly recognize virtual visitation as a meaningful way for parents to stay connected with their children. While virtual contact is not a substitute for in-person time, it can be an important supplement, especially in long-distance parenting plans, high-conflict cases, or situations where a child needs more frequent reassurance and communication.

If you’re navigating a Washington divorce or custody matter, here’s what you need to know about how virtual visitation works, when courts order it, and how to make it successful.

What Is Virtual Visitation?

Virtual visitation refers to parent–child contact through electronic methods, such as:

• Video calls (FaceTime, Zoom, Google Meet, etc.)
  
  
• Phone calls
  
  
• Text messaging
  
  
• Email
  
  
• Messaging apps
  
  
• Shared apps for reading books or playing games together

Courts treat this as supplemental contact, not a replacement for physical parenting time.

When Washington Courts Order Virtual Visitation

A judge may include virtual visitation in a parenting plan in several situations:

1. Long-distance Parenting
   When one parent relocates for work or family reasons, virtual visitation ensures children maintain consistent contact.
   
   
2. High-conflict or supervised-parenting scenarios
   For parents working to rebuild trust or connection, shorter but frequent virtual check-ins may support progress.
   
   
3. Child-specific needs
   A child experiencing anxiety, transition issues, or attachment concerns may benefit from more frequent communication.
   
   
4. Temporary constraints
   Situations such as illness, travel, or work schedules may disrupt normal visits—virtual visitation keeps the connection intact.

How Virtual Visitation Is Addressed in a Washington Parenting Plan

Although virtual visitation is not explicitly required by statute, Washington courts routinely incorporate it into the “Other Provisions” section of a parenting plan.

A typical virtual visitation clause may include:

• Frequency (e.g., “three times per week” or “daily goodnight call”)
  
  
• Duration of calls
  
  
• Whether video is required
  
  
• Notice requirements
  
  
• Technology expectations
  
  
• Provisions about privacy and not interfering with calls
  
  
• Guidelines for keeping communication age-appropriate and child-centered

Courts prefer clear terms to avoid conflict, especially in strained co-parenting relationships.

Do Courts Enforce Virtual Visitation?

Yes, but only if it is included in the parenting plan.

A parent who blocks, interferes with, or fails to facilitate required virtual visitation may be found in contempt of court. This can result in:

• Makeup contact
  
  
• Monetary penalties
  
  
• Attorney’s fees
  
  
• Modifications to the parenting plan

However, courts also recognize legitimate issues such as technical problems or a child’s brief unavailability. Patterns of obstruction, not one-off glitches, are more likely to trigger court action.

Best Practices to Make Virtual Visitation Successful

1. Keep Technology Consistent
   Agree ahead of time on apps, devices, and logins so calls aren’t delayed or turned into disputes.
   
   
2. Create a Good Environment for the Call
   Parents should make reasonable efforts to ensure:
   • A quiet space
     
     
   • The child isn’t distracted by TV or friends
     
     
   • Devices are charged and ready
     
     
3. Support the Child’s Relationship with the Other Parent
   Washington law strongly emphasizes facilitating a healthy bond with both parents. This means:
   • Be positive and encouraging about the call
     
     
   • Avoid listening in
     
     
   • Do not coach, interrupt, or monitor unless required for safety
     
     
   • Don’t schedule activities to conflict with call times
     
     
4. Keep Calls Age-Appropriate
   Younger children may need shorter, more interactive calls. Older kids may prefer texting or flexible communication.
   
   
5. Use Shared Activities to Keep Kids Engaged
   Examples:
   • Reading bedtime stories
     
     
   • Virtual homework help
     
     
   • Online games
     
     
   • Watching the same show or movie
     
     
   • Drawing or crafting “together”

Connection is built through interaction, not just talking.

When Virtual Visitation Becomes a Problem

Some challenges can arise:

• One parent tries to use the call to interrogate the child
  
  
• Calls become inconsistent or chaotic due to schedules
  
  
• A parent pressures the child to “perform”
  
  
• The child loses interest as they get older

Courts expect parents to problem-solve first, but if issues continue, a modification may be necessary.

Virtual visitation is not a substitute for meaningful, in-person parenting time, but it can be a powerful addition, helping children feel connected, supported, and loved by both parents. When handled well, it strengthens parent-child relationships and smooths transitions in even the most difficult custody cases.

If you're working on a parenting plan or struggling with virtual visitation issues, consider speaking with a Washington family law attorney to ensure your rights and your child’s needs are protected.

Call us today 425-800-0573 for a free telephone case evaluation to discuss your options and develop a plan tailored to your family’s needs.

Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, but children often struggle most with the emotional and logistical changes that follow. Sometimes, a child may begin to resist or outright refuse parenting time with one parent. These situations can be deeply painful and confusing for both parents. If not handled carefully, there can also be serious legal consequences.

Washington law expects both parents to follow the court-ordered parenting plan. But what happens when your child simply refuses to go?

Why Children Resist Parenting Time

Children may refuse visitation for a wide range of reasons. Understanding the “why” behind the behavior is the first step toward resolution. Common reasons include:

• Emotional conflict: The child may feel torn between parents or guilty about spending time with one.
  
  
• Parental conflict: Tension or hostility between parents can make transitions stressful.
  
  
• Fear or discomfort: The child may feel unsafe, unheard, or anxious about a parent’s behavior.
  
  
• Influence from one parent: In some cases, subtle (or overt) negative comments from one parent can impact a child’s willingness to visit the other.
  
  
• Developmental changes: Teenagers, in particular, often assert independence and may resist court-ordered schedules simply out of preference.

Whatever the cause, the court expects parents to make reasonable efforts to encourage and/or ensure visitation occurs as ordered.

Your Legal Obligations Under the Parenting Plan

When a Washington court issues a parenting plan, it’s a binding court order. Both parents are legally required to follow it. If one parent prevents or discourages the child from seeing the other parent, that parent could be held in contempt of court. Contempt findings can result in fines, makeup parenting time, attorney’s fees, and other sanctions.

Even if the child is the one refusing, the court will often evaluate whether the residential parent made a good-faith effort to encourage and facilitate visitation. Simply saying, “I can’t make them go,” may not be enough to avoid consequences.

Encouraging Parenting Time Without Escalation

Parents should avoid turning visitation into a power struggle. Instead:

• Stay calm and empathetic: Validate your child’s emotions while reinforcing that the schedule is not optional.
  
  
• Avoid blaming or interrogating: Don’t pressure your child to explain their feelings in a way that might make them feel guilty.
  
  
• Model cooperation: Speak respectfully about the other parent, even if tensions exist.
  
  
• Remind your child that love for both parents is okay: Children often need reassurance that it’s safe to care for both parents after a divorce.

Courts want to see that both parents are actively supporting their child’s relationship with the other parent, even during conflict.

When Refusal Becomes a Pattern

If the refusal continues over time, it may indicate a deeper emotional or relational issue. In these cases, several tools and interventions can help:

• Family counseling or reunification therapy: This type of therapy focuses on repairing the relationship between the resistant child and the parent they’re refusing to see. A neutral therapist helps rebuild trust and communication in a structured, safe environment.
  
  
• Parenting coordination: A parenting coordinator can help mediate disputes, clarify misunderstandings, and ensure both parents are acting in the child’s best interest.
  
  
• Guardian ad Litem (GAL) involvement: If allegations of abuse or alienation arise, a GAL may be appointed to investigate and report to the court.

Courts may recommend or order these interventions to encourage healthy relationships and reduce long-term harm to the child.

What If You’re the Parent Being Refused?

If your child is resisting visits with you, it’s important to respond calmly and strategically.

1. Document everything. Keep a detailed log of missed visits, communications with the other parent and your efforts to maintain contact.
   
   
2. Seek professional support. A therapist or family counselor can help uncover the underlying reasons for resistance.
   
   
3. Talk to your attorney. Legal intervention may be necessary if the other parent is subtly discouraging contact or violating the parenting plan.

You can file a motion for contempt or request modifications if there’s evidence that the other parent is contributing to the problem.

When Contempt May Be Appropriate

If the resisting child is clearly being influenced or coached, and the other parent is not making reasonable efforts to comply with the plan, your attorney may recommend a contempt action.

To prove contempt, you’ll need to show:

• A valid court order exists (your parenting plan)
  
  
• The other parent knowingly failed to comply
  
  
• They did so without reasonable excuse

Washington courts may not hold a parent in contempt for a child’s independent refusal if the parent took genuine steps to facilitate the visit — such as preparing the child, communicating appropriately, and offering transportation.

Modifying the Parenting Plan

If your child’s refusal is rooted in developmental changes or genuine emotional distress, the best approach may be to request a modification rather than force compliance through contempt. Courts can adjust parenting plans to reflect a child’s age, maturity, or therapeutic recommendations.

However, modification requests should be made carefully, with guidance from an experienced family law attorney, as the process requires meeting specific legal thresholds.

When a child resists or refuses parenting time, the situation can feel overwhelming. You may be torn between following the law and protecting your child’s emotions. But Washington courts prioritize both compliance and the child’s best interests and will look closely at how each parent responds.

If you’re struggling with a resistant child or being accused of withholding visits, the experienced family law team at Magnuson Lowell, P.S. can help you navigate your legal obligations while supporting your child’s wellbeing.

Call us today 425-800-0573 for a free telephone case evaluation to discuss your options and develop a plan tailored to your family’s needs.