Divorce is often difficult, but when one spouse refuses to engage with the process, ignoring paperwork, avoiding communication, or outright denying that the divorce is happening, it can create additional stress and uncertainty. Fortunately, in Washington state, your spouse’s refusal to participate does not prevent divorce from happening.
At Magnuson Lowell, P.S., we help individuals navigate these challenging situations with clarity and confidence. Here’s what you should know if your spouse is uncooperative or completely disengaged from the divorce process.
You Don’t Need Permission to Get a Divorce
Washington is a no-fault divorce state. This means that you don’t need to prove wrongdoing or get your spouse’s agreement to end the marriage. If you believe the marriage is irretrievably broken, you have the right to file for divorce, and the court will grant it, even if your spouse refuses to participate.
Start by Filing and Serving the Divorce Papers
The first step is to file a divorce petition with the court. After filing, you must properly serve your spouse with the required documents, including the summons and petition. In Washington, proper service typically involves:
- Personal service by a process server or law enforcement
- Substitute service (in some circumstances)
- Service by publication if your spouse cannot be located after diligent efforts
Substitute service or service by mail, publication, etc. typically require Court approval. Once served, your spouse has limited time to respond. What happens if they don’t respond?
If Your Spouse Doesn’t Respond, You Can Request a Default
If your spouse ignores the divorce papers and fails to file a response within the required timeframe, you can ask the court for a default. This allows the court to grant the divorce and approve your requested terms without your spouse’s involvement.
However, the court will still review your requests to ensure they are fair and lawful, especially in cases involving children, support, or substantial assets. There are pros and cons to filing for default, so please coordinate with an attorney to determine if this is the right path for your case.
What If Your Spouse Tries to Delay the Process?
Sometimes, a spouse won’t ignore the case entirely but will attempt to delay progress by failing to provide documents, missing court appearances, or refusing to negotiate. In these situations, your attorney can ask the court to:
- Set firm deadlines and issue court orders compelling participation
- Sanction the uncooperative spouse for failing to follow court rules
- Move the case towards trial with or without the other party’s full cooperation
Washington courts do not tolerate obstruction, and judges will generally work to prevent one spouse from controlling or delaying the outcome unfairly. That being said, in some counties, the case schedule cannot be expedited and some delays, even if unreasonable, are permitted.
How to Protect Yourself Legally and Financially
When dealing with an uncooperative spouse, it’s especially important to:
- Keep detailed records of all communication attempts and missed deadlines
- Avoid direct conflict, especially if there’s a history of manipulation or abuse
- Request temporary court orders for child custody, support, or restraining provisions if necessary
- Consult with an experienced attorney to ensure you’re meeting your obligations and not giving your spouse unnecessary leverage
You Can Still Reach a Fair Resolution
Even if your spouse refuses to engage, you can still walk away with a legally enforceable divorce that addresses property division, parenting plans, and financial support. The key is to follow the court process carefully and work with professionals who understand how to manage uncooperative behavior in a legal context.
At Magnuson Lowell, P.S., we regularly assist clients whose spouses attempt to derail or avoid the divorce process. We know how to keep your case on track and advocate for your rights, even when the other side isn’t cooperating. We offer free telephone case evaluations. Call today 425-800-0576 to speak with an experienced divorce attorney and take control of your next steps.
