Custody arrangements are always difficult to figure out, but they can be especially messy when it comes to the holidays. From Labor Day to New Year's Day, determining who will have the kids can be overwhelming. Your emotions may run high and you probably want to fight tooth and nail to see your children as much as possible.
However, there are certain techniques you can use to prevent disputes. Arguments will only make things harder on you and your kids. Here are some tips for resolving holiday custody fights.
1. Check with your kids
Depending on how old your children are, they may be able to provide you with some important insight. Your kids have their own desires. Try to get an idea of what they want to do. Remember that your overall goal is for your children to have a fun time and that may mean you will not be with them every second.
2. Determine your priorities
Before you start negotiations with your ex-spouse, determine what is important to you. Does your family always attend mass on Christmas Eve while your ex watches movies at home? Do you have a family reunion every Labor Day weekend? Are there traditions you want your child to participate in? Make a list of the things you want most and start to think about where you will be able to compromise.
3. Have an open mind
Speaking of compromising, you will need to do a lot of that. You hardly ever get exactly what you want in custody decisions. Be ready for some give and take. Rather than being difficult and causing ugly disputes, try your best to remain flexible. While flexibility may make it seem like you are losing out on some things, it will actually make the process easier for everyone.
Figuring out the specifics of your visitation and custody arrangement is hardly easy. But if you consider these tips and get legal counsel when necessary, you can get over this hurdle.